Compassionate Confrontation, Part I: Can You Handle the Truth?
Since I posted my recent series on managing conflict at work, readers have been writing and calling to ask — almost plaintively — how they can manage strong disagreements in ways that are both...
View ArticleCompassionate Confrontation, Part II: Alternatives to Mortal Combat
It’s almost shocking how many organizations avoid addressing persistent, draining problems — the kind of stuff that everyone is happy to discuss very privately, but never in public. And sadly, that’s...
View ArticleCompassionate Confrontation, Part III: Respecting Your Partner
We may talk about the importance of not making assumptions, but we all make them, automatically, all the time. We tend to believe that other people are more like us than not. This belief explains some...
View ArticleHow to Get Out from “Under the Bus”
“They threw me under the bus” is probably the most common expression of complaint among employees who see themselves as the victims of intra- or inter-team sniping. Whenever I hear it, I picture tire...
View ArticleThe Iceberg School of Problem-Solving
In business, lingering problems rarely have a single or simple solution. That’s why they linger. Many problems are relatively unambiguous and easily understood by the people who deal with them every...
View ArticleThe Frustrations of the Conflict-Averse Executive
When an executive disagrees with a proposal or approach, the situation can go in two directions: In the best-case scenario, the disagreement gets worked through collegially, even if it means that other...
View ArticleHow to Cope When Disagreement is Required
In last week’s post, an exec who didn’t wish to appear picky or small-minded missed the chance to address difficult and inappropriate situations created by her subordinate Xerxes when they were still...
View ArticleFour Ways to Disagree Productively
Disagreements and conflicts occur in every organization, no matter how high-functioning the team, how clear the mission, or how lovely the people. As we’ve seen in the last two posts, conflict-averse...
View ArticleWho Defines Your Service Rules?
According to an old Swahili proverb: “When the elephants fight, it’s the grass that suffers.” That’s certainly true in organizations where executives have ongoing disagreements. Whether the situation...
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The Surprising Truth about Consensus
Consensus sounds so nice: Everyone agrees and moves forward together. Kumbaya! Seems like a good thing, right? But here’s how one client described the way his company practices consensus (with my...
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Getting Our Signals Crossed at Work
One day last week after lunch, while walking back to my office, I noticed a man parking in the last of four curbside spots in front of the Post Office. He maneuvered a bit and then stopped his car just...
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4 Powerful Steps on the Way to Cross-Functional Agreement
I had a call with an up-and-coming middle manager who presented a complex situation and then asked a sincere question. A small cross-functional working group was trying to resolve some...
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